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  • Writer's pictureEsther Andújar

Starting over: the difficulties of it & the hopes that comes with new starts

If you are one of my viewers from Youtube or are following me on Instagram or Twitter you already know the reasons why I’m back in Puerto Rico with my family and starting again. If you don’t this is the quick breakdown:

  • Not having my support system close by was taking a toll on my mental health

  • The pandemic reaffirmed for me that the traditional work career (M to F 9 to 5) would never work for me.

  • I really really want to be a career author publishing both trad and indie and in English and Spanish.

Now I’ve been in Puerto Rico for a couple of weeks already and besides the stress of having money to pay my bills, I feel a lot lighter than before.

I know my current retrospection is still a little close to the date I came back but I can tell by now that even though starting again is difficult, it was needed. I had to get rid of more things I want to remember and now I need to buy (again) even more things. But I’m taking my time buying those needed things because I’m keeping my house in Puerto Rico my main home. I’m not gonna lie to you nor to myself that I won’t even move out (again) but when I do it will be very minimal and for a few months and no more than a few years. I’m keeping my roots here.

Having this in mind my process of starting is a lot slower compared to when I started in Virginia four years ago. I’m gonna take my time getting the furniture I want, mainly for the room I’m turning into an office. This does make things difficult because I may be living out of my suitcase for longer than I thought and finding a part-time job and building multiple streams of income may be tricky but I’m gonna give myself grace through the growing pains.

I need to remind myself I’m choosing to focus more on building a diverse income, writing books and getting them query-ready or indie publish-ready, and building my virtual assistant business cause I’m still very passionate about helping others. And that it may be hard right now, probably harder than before, but when I achieve it it will feel so much fulfilling because I did it on my own terms around people that support me.

I may have to adjust a lot of things, starting with my budget, but I’m going through all of these obstacles with the hope of getting to the place I really want to be in (physically and emotionally).

And as you can see there is more hope than hardship in starting again. The hope that I can build my future the way I want it. The hope is that I will prioritize my mental health and my family more. I hope that in the next couple of years I will be in a better place and feeling more independent.

I know 2020 and 2021 had been hard years but in retrospect what was the time that you felt was the most difficult for you but the most hopeful too?

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